Jan. 6th

today was a crappy day. I wasn't expecting it to be, but it was. Not without its' enjoyments though, like wrestling with both kids at once - was really fun. also finally playing out some of the mad feelings Maeve has had towards me ALL the holiday long. I love it when she's played some of it out, and then turns towards me again with more positive feelings - I think she said this time - my doll and her were friends. i think the crappy stuff had more to do with Farah today - feeling (internally) pressured when she's critical (however so) and reacting. blah. most of my bad day could be summed up by my own fall into self-criticism - I'm the worst blah blah .. I don't even have to say it to myself, I just embody it. It's sometimes a slippery slope it's hard to crawl back up. better luck tomorrow :)